Opportunities Missed

Opportunities missed remain such. Whether it be a missed shot in the game, a might-have-been soul mate, a dream job, or an unattained achievement, when it's lost it is gone.

If you have missed an opportunity, rest and recover, but at some point you should stop dwelling on the past. You don't have to accept it as fair, but you have to switch focus to what you can do to move forward.

You can do anything, but not everything. Careful use of time lets you do more, but time remains a limited resource. Determination and discipline can create or invite new opportunities. Therefore, whenever you choose, consider the opportunities that each path offers, the ones you can defer, and the ones you will miss. As early as possible, take on the things you will regret not having done.

Decide quickly, but not in haste. Indecision equates to idleness, and that itself may lose you the opportunity. Learn from not just your own experience, but on the understanding of others.

When you have chosen, commit. An agile approach is to re-evaluate with new information the goal that you are chasing. This does not mean to keep switching targets and never producing anything useful. It means adapting the way you approach the same goal - assuming you chose an appropriate one.

Finally, take death as an ending and starting point.

Eyes on the Prize

Until the next retrospect:

1. Remember what your goals are.
2. If you don't have any, find one, and stick with it.
3. Keep track of progress to make sure you are on target.

Eyes on the prize

Reminder: Try Something New, And Then Stay

Often people say, if you don't like what you are doing, try something new. The contrasting principle is, if you keep switching, you will not likely attain mastery in any particular skill. Neither perspective is wrong on its own; each has its trade-offs. Typically we lean towards one of the two extremes.

Frequently changing what you practice does not make you a polymath. If you switch skills each time you lose interest in that particular skill, you will never realize your full potential. 10% proficiency in 10 separate skills does not make you 100% competent in any task.

Sticking with a particular skill can be as costly as frequently changing skills. If you maintain only a limited skillset to a high level of proficiency, then you have limited your capability to a specific field. If that skillset loses its necessity or value, then you are in an unfavourable position.

For those of us in the former group, the important thing is to learn to stick with a skill. Be it patience, motivation, discipline, or whatever other feasible method that works, stay with a particular skill, and don't switch until you have become competent enough for it to be useful.

The rest of us should learn to be more flexible, and be prepared to adapt to new ways of completing tasks. If you don't adapt, it will be difficult for you and/or those around you when change is necessary.

Checkpoint

Two months into 2015. Has anyone been far even as decided to go and look back at their resolutions? How much progress has been made? Are you on track to meet the goals you set out to attain?

One of my goals is to learn to play the piano well. I started late in November 2014, and have been practising quasi-regularly, averaging around 3 hours each week. This shows is where I'm at:

This is the result of approximately 33 hours of practice, and it took around 20 takes to record this video - previous takes always had mistakes. Although playing at this level is far below what others believe when they hear anyone say "I can play the piano", it is a phase every piano player had to go through to become good.

Whenever someone demonstrates amazing skill, there is a tendency for us to feel as though "I wish I could do that". But not many of us try, at least not for long enough.

The barrier to entry may be that "I don't want to sound stupid", "I don't feel motivated", or whatever else. Perhaps that is why children are in a better state of mind and life to acquire skills. They don't believe they sound stupid when playing scales* for half an hour, multiple times a week. They practice for that long because they are disciplined to do so (typically by their parents). How many twenty-plus-year-olds are willing to begin at that very basic level? Without someone else to discipline (read: enforce) us to practice, how many of us still do?

Checkpoint.

* playing scales are the equivalent of singing "do re mi fa so la ti do"

post script: I started by playing scales, and I still play scales as warm-up every time I practice. I don't always feel motivated; that is why discipline is important.

Retrospect

New years' resolutions - idealistic plans of potential that often-times do not come to fruition. These are for people who crave attention. Do not be so proud to boast about what has not yet happened. That was my view.

Plans are good, but follow through with them. Eat healthier. Exercise more. Complain less. Read more. Procrastinate less. Learn a new skill. Catch up with past friends. How many times have these been made, and how many became habits, and eventually character?

This is my 2014 retrospect:

• Became more skilled at making cards
• Completed a marathon

Just two for this year. Hadn't completed anything else to a point which I'd consider significant.

Friendship Levels

Everybody else
You are a complete stranger, I will do my best not to get in your way.

Mostly Stranger
This is when I know of you - your name, and potentially some of your traits and skills. I will acknowledge your presence, but will likely still avoid you.

Simple Friend
I have interacted with you enough and I like/respect you. Will say "hi".

Regular Friend
I am comfortable enough around you to speak my mind.

Good Friend
I will go out of my way to help you - you can break my schedule.

Close Friend
I may share secrets with you. You can change my routine.


I dislike having a lot of simple/regular friends - I'd like you to be at least a good friend, or not a friend at all - I don't like half efforts, so if you're a simple friend, I'd like us to either keep growing our friendship until it's solid, or we shouldn't have started in the first place.

To move up in the levels of friendship, typically you'd have to be present in my life in my daily routine - the quickest friendships to build are the ones with the people within proximity; I will not go far out of my way for a stranger to turn them into a friend - there are enough people around me to grow and maintain friendships.

On Mastery

The capability to accomplish a task is ability.
The capability to accomplish a task easily is mastery.

When we see a great feat accomplished, we sometimes think, "I'd like to have that level of skill, that wealth of success, or that record of achievements." For the majority, it is but a passing thought. Of those who take action, many stay comfortable with just the basics. A lesser group keep going, and become professionals. Rarer still are the ones who attain mastery.

What makes this phenomenon happen is usually not the lack of consideration or knowledge for what is needed to improve, but the irregularity of practice. Irregularity can be measured in terms of frequency, effort, duration, technique, and recovery. The following list briefly covers each of these points:

• Frequency - How often we practice. Practicing frequently will help us retain familiarity with the skill, and make progress instead of backsliding.
• Effort - How hard we try. To advance in a skill, we must make the effort to exceed our existing capability.
• Duration - How long we go for. Each session we practice must be long enough such that we actually increase the proficiency of our skill.
• Technique - How we execute the task. Our practiced method of execution will be our natural reflex when performing it outside of practice, so make sure this is correct.
• Recovery - Whether we have an adequate break. Sufficient rest allows we to recover and let what we have learnt sink in, so that we are better prepared for the next session.

How can we achieve mastery? Through perseverance. Perseverance keeps us from inaction, from half-heartedness, from giving up. It keeps us consistent. In the adage, "good things come to those who wait", to wait is not to be idle; it is to continue practicing and improving, and in time, the good that we strive for will come.

The action we practice will be the habit we form. In order to achieve full mastery of a skill, the action we repetitively practice must be optimal. If someone has already established a successful technique, learn from them. When experimenting with a new technique, evaluate its effectiveness regularly so that it is either refined further or discarded early - conserve energy.

Attain mastery, it is needed in this world.